Something from Mom

I'm brain-dead today. Worse than usual. Instead of entertaining you with stories of my life, I'm going to make myself feel better by making fun of those with a lower mental capacity than I have.

My Mom loves to send me those emails that have been forwarded at least half a dozen times before. I've seen many of them but every once in a while, she sends one that I haven't read yet. I'm sharing one of those with you today....

Hopefully I'll have something better for tomorrow. Until then, enjoy.

..................................................


If you don't understand these you are they!!


IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. Happened in Kansas City.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know that. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

IDIOT SIGHTING: While checking out at a department store, I used the 12 inch long divider to place between orders. As my items came up to the cashier, she picked up the divider and looked at it. Then she said, "Do you remember how much this cost? If not, I'll get a price check."

...and they walk among us .. and REPRODUCE and what's worse, they VOTE.