Saturday, April 29, 2006

My neighbors the Rednecks

I'm sitting here on the back deck of my wonderful new house. Unfortunately, the reason I'm here and not meeting up with my pool partner is that I got paged for work. Been working on a system for the last 2+ hours, and now I'm waiting for someone to get back to me with some info so I can finish this thing up.

So, I'm sitting here on the back deck. The neighbors decide to come out on their front porch for a smoke. Thank God I don't have kids. They'd know about 15 different vulgar phrases by now. I've heard a whole lot of "Fuck You", "Shithead", "Shut the fuck up, Fuckhead", and just the general use of the word "fuck" as a verb, noun, and adjective. I mean, all you need to do is hear any of them talk and you'll know that their daddy is also their uncle or something similar...

And to think, I spent all this money on the house to have neighbors like this. I guess they're trying to make me feel at home, but the reason I left the backwoods of New York state was to get away from these people!
OMG!! I was going to end this post, but something just happened. I swear to God... I just heard a FART from across the street. It sounded like a wet, nasty one too. Thank God I wasn't eating... Just think, next party we have, we can have everyone on the deck to watch the rednecks. It will be like a day at the zoo.


Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

Nice! Sounds like it's time for a good ole fashioned block party!

11:56 AM  
Blogger StB said...

The decibalization of the flatuation is quite a sensation.

10:00 AM  
Blogger "The Rake" said...

Sounds like home to me. So, You were the one that moved in across the street. Don't you just love it.
Just kidding. Sounds like fun??

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you experienced is the "White Trash with Money Syndrome". I bet if you quiz your other neighbors, you will find that they are Lottery Winners. What are the odds that you would buy a home next to someone that has won the Lotto?

Question: Whats the last thing a stupid redneck(i know its redundant)says just before he dies?

Answer: Hey you all watch this!

3:04 AM  

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